It's human nature to focus on what's right in front of you.
The barking, the lunging, the dramatic reactions. But that is just a moment in time.
I find it frustrating at times when people don't realise how far we've come and the battles we've won.
They don't see it of course so I can't blame them for that!
For us, the outside world generally is still a very scary place and very challenging. Our real progress (so far) has been at home.
It's easy to forget sometimes how George was scared to go into the garden for quite a while. How he'd hold in his poo until he had no choice and would go in the kitchen, which was heartbreaking to see.
How scared he was of everything in the home. The heat pump, the microwave, the TV, the fridge, pictures... Weirdly, he's never been too bothered about the vacuum cleaner!
Through careful and sensitive confidence-building, he's so much more relaxed and resilient at home.
He still has his moments though. He doesn't always cope with change too well (e.g. moving something to a different location) and is suspicious of new items. We had a gentle desensitisation plan to the new kettle!
I guess people don't realise the everyday battles and the subsequent wins. They just see an anxious dog. They assume that means George is scared of "normal" things like fireworks and thunderstorms, and maybe other dogs. They don't realise he has been scared of EVERYTHING. They don't know about all the work in the background and all the progress made.
'Normal' dog owners just buy a new kettle. For us, it's a whole thing. And that's what can be so exhausting about caring for a fearful dog - you have to think about and plan for every little thing that most people don't have to.
It was a real turning point when George started to relax at home. The medication definitely helped support this. It meant he could rest and recover.
Even in the outside world, I think we've made progress overall, although it doesn't feel like it, and we have multiple regressions.
But he used to be terrified to go on walks and although he is still over-threshold at times, he is excited to leave the house and enjoys his walks. He has his triggers of course, but he is much more confident in the world. That took a long time and a lot of patience.
A good example of what can progress with the right support, patience and time was introducing him to his special needs daycare and boarding.
Despite additional 'stressful event' medication on the meet and greet day, he really struggled, barked at all the staff, and was in a highly aroused state. They were amazing though. I was so relieved when they said "I think we can work together through this".
We took it very slowly. Short stints, eventually an overnight stay, then a slightly longer stay. They offer pick up and drop off but I dropped off and collected George for over a year because I thought he would struggle.
We recently tried pick-up again. He's done so well. I take him out to the road so nobody comes to the door. He was a bit upset (or more confused?) the first couple of times as I didn't go with him, but now he is so excited to see the staff member and hops happily in the car. I couldn't have imagined that just a short time ago.
Looking back to that first meet and greet when he barked at the staff, I couldn't have imagined that they are now firmly in his circle of trust and he does really well there.
Miracles can happen with patience, time and the right approach.
I need to remember how far we've come. It's all too easy to focus on what's still 'wrong' and what we can't do, but we've come so far. We must be doing something right. I guess it doesn't matter if other people know that, but it matters that I do.
And the kettle has been accepted into the circle of trust.