When it comes to behavioural modification training, I am a bit of a procrastinator.
I think it partly comes down to overwhelm. I have ordered so many books, follow so many dog welfare experts on social media, belong to several support groups, and have multiple online courses on the go. I am trying to do too much at once.
I do try to prioritise, but I find myself jumping from one thing to the next, never quite finishing or fully committing to any single task. In my head, I feel like I am doing a lot, but the actual doing is limited.
The same happens with separation anxiety training. I find it hard to get started, and very easy to stop. I’m not sure what the blockage is. George’s safe-alone times are very short, so each session isn’t even a big time commitment.
Dr. Holly Tett (a dual-trained clinical psychologist and dog behaviourist) hosted a session, “How to Stop Only Listening/Watching/Reading & How to Start Doing with Your Dog,” as part of the 2025 Kieno Conference.
Dr. Tett explained that learning without doing can be a type of avoidance. Yes, probably true for me. Avoidance can be driven by fear: fear of getting things wrong, fear that it won’t work, lack of support from others, or fear of facing your own emotions and behaviours.
The fear that this won’t work is a strong one for me. This journey has been an ongoing rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. Every time we start a new medication, every time we work with a new trainer… there have been improvements, but also what feel like giant steps backwards. Gains in one area are often counterbalanced by new challenges in another. Learning is not linear.
If I haven’t genuinely and wholeheartedly tried something yet, then it hasn’t not worked. So I still have hope. That was an interesting revelation for me.
So, what to do about it? Dr. Tett recommended first identifying the feeling—what is your worry or concern? Is it a fear of failure, or a fear of judgement? Recognising the reason for the blockage is the first step in addressing it.
She also reminded us not to forget to have fun with our dogs. Everything doesn’t have to be serious and structured. And get the right support.
I think I need to commit to one goal (while not neglecting everything else, of course). I have decided it should be separation anxiety. If I can leave the house without George, even for short periods, I think that will have the biggest impact on my (and, in turn, George’s) mental health.
So enough of the procrastination. It’s time to let go of the fear that this might not work, and try to commit.