I attended an excellent webinar recently by Dr. Holly Tett from Paws Up Dogs.
Holly talked about her own experience with a reactive dog which really resonated with me - exhausted, upset for your dog, mortified by his reactions, afraid they will be reported, frustrated that everyone else is having a different experience, and the heartbreak that the reality is nowhere close to your dream of living with a dog.
Not to mention the isolation of separation anxiety coupled with reactivity.
She described the rollercoaster of emotions and how upsetting it was that nobody saw the sweet side of him.
But she gave us hope, advising that if they could get to a place that they find easy, then we can too.
I won't go into detail here as I could never explain it as well as Dr. Tett but recommend checking out her resources for more info. But here's a bit of a summary.
She talked about how important it is to learn emotional regulation for ourselves as a first step. Of course this is easier said than done but it is important to try and reduce our own feelings of stress and anxiety.
Secondly, we learn to teach self-regulation to our dog so they can reduce their stress levels and better cope with triggers.
I've started to see some glimmers of self-regulation in George recently which is encouraging. For example, choosing to sniff instead of staring at a person, or redirecting to play with a toy after barking at a noise outside.
It's still pretty rare but encouraging nonetheless!
Step three is behavioural work so that your dog can feel better when they are faced by a trigger. Eventually aiming for no reaction.
Step four is developing an individualised, adaptable plan recognising that both you and your dog have individual needs.
Coming back to the title of the webinar, "Are you as triggered as your dog?", Dr. Tett noted that most of us have some unresolved trauma.
She talked through some grounding techniques. One which was new to me was the power of temperature - putting an ice cube on your pulse points whilst focusing on your breathing. Another one was gently tapping outwards on your collar bone.
I already knew that my own emotions and feelings can influence my dog's feelings and behaviours. This webinar was a helpful reminder and I learned some new techniques to work on my own emotions.
As Dr. Tett pointed out, if you didn't have to worry about managing your own emotions as well as your dog's, imagine how much further you could progress.