"Don't pick the timid puppy"

It makes sense. A timid puppy might need more work and patience to build their confidence. It might mean they are more likely to develop reactivity (although I didn't know that term then).

I heard it again recently in a seminar relating to avoiding reactivity in future. I get it. I get why reactive dog owners, despite loving their dogs to pieces, wouldn't want to do this again. It's isolating, stressful and expensive.

You miss out on the good stuff of dog ownership - stress-reducing walks, connecting with your neighbourhood, relaxing at home.

But it did get me thinking. Somebody needs to care for these special and complex dogs. Somebody needs to put them first. What happens if nobody picks them?

I don't think I'm the best dog owner by any stretch of the imagination. But what if George had ended up with someone that didn't have the capacity or will to try and support him.

I was discussing this with a friend recently and she made a very good point. Yes, somebody needs to take care of these special dogs but maybe they could be matched better. For example, the more timid puppies might be better matched to a quieter, rural home.

I have thought this myself. I often feel guilty that I can't afford to provide George with a home that has a private entrance and doesn't have immediate neighbours. But I think he would have struggled more in a busy family home so it could have been worse.

The breeder did try to match the puppies but I'm not sure whether they are able to match that well. And whilst the puppies personalities are starting to show prior to 8 weeks, there are still a lot of factors at play.

George was a little timid but not worryingly so. When I went to meet the puppies, he settled on my lap. The other potential caregivers noted that he had chosen me.

When I picked him up to bring him home, there were a couple of puppies from an older litter chasing him and playing a little rough...but I don't have experience with puppies so could have been perfectly normal. I don't know how long that happened for.

At that point I was picking him up - I was already fully committed so nothing would have changed my mind at that point.

I remember a trainer reassuring me that it's easier to bring a timid puppy out of its shell than it is to calm down a rambunctious and confident puppy.

I believed that for a while and repeated it to others. It may be true if nothing scary ever happens to your timid puppy. I've never had a confident puppy so I don't know.

Looking back I wonder if those earlier trainers thought George was a very likely candidate for reactivity but didn't want to say. Or maybe it would have been different if circumstances were different.

"Don't pick the timid puppy" worries me a little. People who take the time to research advice on choosing a puppy might actually be the best people to care for one of these special dogs.

Dealing with anxiety is rough and it's not something most people would knowingly and willingly sign up for in advance.

But would I not pick a timid puppy in future? I honestly don't know.

Timid doesn't necessarily mean reactive of course and non-timid doesn't guarantee non-reactive. But there's a reason this advice exists.

I'm not sure I could handle (in the far future which is hard and uncomfortable to envisage) realising I have another fearful and reactive dog.

But on the other hand, I have learned so much and somebody needs to pick the fearful ones. Somebody needs to pick the timid puppy. 

I read an interesting post on r/reactivedogs on Reddit recently where someone asked if people would willingly get a reactive dog again.  Some expressed that given everything they have learned on this journey, they would like to use their experience to help other dogs. But most said no way, at least not intentionally. Some said they won't ever have another dog.

I think that sums up the complexity of the relationship - you love them so much but it is so hard at times. But whilst anxious genetics and trauma exist, someone needs to pick the timid puppy.

For me, I think it would depend on my situation. I would like to be in a place with a private entrance. I would like to live somewhere quieter. It would depend on my support network, the flexibility of my job, and my financial situation at the time. I don't think I would deliberately seek out another anxious or fearful dog unless there were improvements in these areas.  Not just because it's harder for me, but it's harder for the dog too.