Another excellent session from Marilyn Mele’s 2025 Love in Action conference focused on lessons learned from sensitive dogs, shared by Deb Bauer.
Deb’s experience rang true for me in many ways. Like me (and I’m sure many of us), her initial thought on discovering she had a sensitive dog was something along the lines of: This is not what I signed up for.
She was kind enough to share her lessons learned. I can’t explain them as well as she did, of course, but I’d like to share the three main takeaways I found particularly useful.
All of them relate to the human end of the leash:
- A change in mindset regarding behaviours
- Being aware of your own reactivity and changing the pattern
- A change in perspective around a “small world”
Deb was already familiar with counter-conditioning and desensitisation. Like many of us, she worked hard on “fixing” the behaviours and became very good at managing situations.
Her dog’s main trigger was other dogs and, after four years of trying, they reached a point where they could manage it—if they were prepared. But this meant being hyper-vigilant at all times.
Once she stopped focusing on fixing the behaviour and instead focused on what she could do to help her dog cope better, she said everything changed.
Although she was still doing the same things (creating distance, using food as a distraction), her dog picked up on the shift in mindset. Deb explained that the change was significant: the intensity of reactions reduced, they needed to do less management, and her dog recovered more quickly from reactions.
This was amazing to hear and gave me pause (paws? 😆) for thought. Although I’ve heard this before—and I think I have this mindset—it made me reflect on whether I truly do.
Am I still focusing on fixing the behaviour?
Do I just want the barking and lunging to stop?
I need to give this some more thought.
Another really interesting aspect of the discussion was Deb explaining how her sensitive dog made her aware of her own reactivity.
I’m sure many others will relate to this, as I do. When I see a dog, my hand tightens on the leash. I probably take a sharp intake of breath. My heart rate quickens. I reach for a treat.
I do all of this without conscious thought—just as George reacts to a trigger without conscious thought.
Deb worked to change this pattern, which she admits wasn’t easy. When she saw a dog, she would first let out a big sigh. She relaxed her breathing so her dog could hear that she was relaxing.
Then she would name the dog. Deb called all dogs “Fifi”—a smiley, happy name 😊
Next, she would immediately tell her dog what they were going to do.
The pattern became: big sigh, that’s our friend Fifi, let’s go this way.
Over time, something interesting happened. Deb’s dog would see another dog and then look at her. He would only react if Deb wasn’t quick enough.
Deb explained that her dog began to trust her more and started looking to her for information—and this is where everything changed.
They no longer had to be hyper-vigilant at all times. Her dog didn’t have to guess what was going to happen or be ready to protect himself.
Deb said that after four years of training, this was the biggest shift of all: changing her mindset, becoming aware of her own reactions, and changing the pattern.
By age five, they never had another issue. Her dog was never going to like other dogs, but he trusted that Deb would do her best to take care of him.
Even when they had an incident where a large dog ran up from behind and jumped on her dog, the pattern still worked.
This gives me so much hope.
We’ll be trying this pattern and experimenting to find what works best for us. And I need to continue evaluating my mindset.
One piece of advice from Deb really stood out to me: instead of thinking about how much a behaviour is bothering me, think about how much it’s bothering George.
I do try to do this, but I know I slip back into my old mindset at times.
I need to focus less on the behaviours themselves. Deb explained that if we pay attention to the emotions and feelings underneath, the behaviours will often take care of themselves.
The final topic I found really helpful was the idea that your dog’s world is “small.” Deb reminded us that it’s the dog’s perspective—not ours—that matters.
A small world is safe. The outside world can be scary and overwhelming.
A small world can still contain everything a dog enjoys: favourite people, play, rest, and comfort. A smaller world is not a bad thing—we just need to stop viewing it through a human lens.
One final thought that really resonated with me: sensitivity is not bad. Being sensitive simply means noticing more in the environment. Sensitive dogs may just need more time to process what’s happening around them.
I’m very grateful to Deb for sharing her learnings with the conference.