They told us this at puppy school and I've heard it from countless trainers since.
Initially they talked about how your dog might not be able to sit or focus in public, but your dog has other strengths.
Then it progressed to your dog is reactive but other dogs might poo in the house, they might be destructive, they might not be able to be alone, or they might have other problematic behaviours.
Hmm, well George has had most of those.
The trainers would say that the social dogs that you see out and about, the ones chilling in cafes, those are actually the rarity.
But it's hard to believe that. Especially in the early days.
Why is my dog barking and lunging, and all the other dogs are calm?
I thought I'd done everything right. I tried so hard and cared so much.
I really want to meet new people and when I see the meet up photos of local cavoodles all having a great time, it's tough.
George is different. I'm still coming to realise that.
I think the trainers are right in that all dogs have different challenges. The trainers we work with deal with the most challenging behaviours - from their perspective George is probably not a big deal.
We recently met someone very experienced in the dog world who described George as "highly anxious".
It was both confronting and validating.
Confronting in that we don't go to new places anymore, and I think I had been lulled into feeling that maybe he's not that "bad".
But validating in that yes, he is highly anxious, and it's hard.
Acceptance is half the battle.
I still have my moments but on the whole I've got better at not comparing George to other dogs.
Learning is not linear so a snapshot in time is not a reliable comparison.
I love him to bits even though he finds the world difficult.
As our VB says, he's a complicated guy!
I've (mostly) gone through the grief of dog ownership not being what I expected.
Comparing him to others is never going to be helpful.